I used to think crushing on a high school teacher was so, well, high school! But now that I’m a single mom with a teenage son who’s flunking in economics, I think my crush on my son’s teacher, Jim, needs to go further. At tonight’s PTA meeting, I think I’ll have to look gorgeous and maybe the teacher will take our flirts to the next level; and then my son will get a better grade and I’ll have a nice man on my arm.
Ever since I dropped my son off at his school and almost ran over Jim, he couldn’t take his eyes off my eyelash growth and thicker eyebrows. I use eyelash growth products and French beauty products because I’m divorced and fabulous! And I want the world to know I can still slaughter men with a look! And Jim was no exception. But at PTA, we’ll have more time to talk and get to know each other. This means I’ll need skin brighteners, age spot treatments to battle age spots, and wrinkle cream so I can reduce wrinkles. I want Jim to look at me as not just a mother but also an attractive woman. Most teachers won’t go for the mothers of their students, but not all mothers look like me! Most mothers wear sweats, don’t use makeup, and have varicose veins – and need major varicose veins treatments – so the appeal or allure isn’t there! But I’m obviously a different type of woman!
And I am also concerned with my son’s grades, trust me. I think he could do better if he worked hard at it. Maybe I’m just jaded a bit – I worked hard at my marriage and it didn’t work out so why not take a few shortcuts sometimes when it comes to relationships and school? I’m sure Jim wouldn’t agree yet but give me time to work him over! And if that doesn’t work, there’s always math and social studies! 